Blossom Your Awesome

Blossom Your Awesome Podcast Next Level With Kevin Palmieri

May 19, 2023 Sue Dhillon Season 1 Episode 134
Blossom Your Awesome
Blossom Your Awesome Podcast Next Level With Kevin Palmieri
Show Notes Transcript

Blossom Your Awesome Podcast Next Level With Kevin Palmieri

On Episode #134 of the Blossom Your Awesome Podcast Kevin Palmieri joins us.

Kevin is the host of the Next Level Podcast and the founder of Next Level Universe and Next Level University.

He has spent many years working on himself and sharing those insights with others through his more than 1300 podcast episodes.

To learn more about Kevin and the work he does click here. 


To see more of my work  - blossomyourawesome.com

My YouTube

https://blossomyourawesome.com/mindfulness-1

Where I write and cover mindfulness and other things to help you Blossom Your Awesome.

Or follow me on instagram where I post fairly regularly and ask an inquisitive question or two weekly in hopes of getting you thinking about your life and going deeper with it.

My Instagram - i_go_by_skd

To support my work - my Patreon 

Sue Dhillon:
Hi there. Today on the show, Kevin Palmieri is here with us. I am so honored and delighted to have you here. Welcome to the show.

Kevin Palmieri:
Thank you so much for having me, Sue. I appreciate it. I appreciate your time, and I'm excited to learn more about you and chat about all amazing things.

Sue Dhillon:
Oh, I love it. Well, we're actually here to chat about you. So let's get into this. You are the CFO founder cohost of Next Level University and you have a global top 100 self-improvement podcast with more than 1300 episodes. Give us the backstory, how you got into this line of work.

Kevin Palmieri:
Yeah, a lot of this, I always say I'm kind of playing with house money because I never aspired to be an entrepreneur. I didn't like speaking into a microphone. I didn't like public speaking and I'm an introvert. So a lot of this is more challenging for me than you might guess. I grew up in a single parent household. I was raised by my mom and my grandmother. Didn't know my dad, didn't meet my dad until I was 27. Other than that, I guess my childhood was fairly normal, quote unquote, whatever normal means to each of us. I guess that's... different for everybody. My life really started to shift in high school because I was the type of person who didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew I didn't wanna go to college. So when I graduated from high school, I said, you know what, I'm not gonna go to school. I'm not gonna bother applying to schools. I just wanna get into the workforce and see what this life thing is all about. So I pumped gas at a local gas station. I left that job, I was a personal trainer, I cleaned bathrooms at a hospital, I did many, many different jobs. I eventually landed a very lucky job, what felt like luck at the time, in an industry called weatherization. So our job was to go into schools or fire stations, police stations, government-owned buildings basically, and to make them more energy efficient. Since I was working on government contracts, I was making anywhere from 60 to $120 an hour. And for me, that was the most money I'd ever made. And I had then determined this is what I'm gonna do forever because look at all the money I'm making. All these other things I did in the past, this was all for the right, this all worked out the way it was supposed to. But I learned pretty quickly that money doesn't buy fulfillment. Maybe money does buy bouts of happiness, but it does not buy fulfillment. So if you looked at me when I was 25, you would see a young man who had a model girlfriend, a high paying job. sports car, I had just won a bodybuilding show, so I had the body of my dreams, I had everything you could want, but I was very insecure, I was not fulfilled, I was not on purpose, I was not excited for my future. I was very scarce, that's probably the best way to put it. Empty cup. As an empty cup, it's very hard to pour into somebody else's cup, so my girlfriend ended up leaving me, and that was my initial dive into self-improvement of how do I get a little bit better. Unfortunately, I said, you know what, if I make a boatload more money, most of my problems will go away. So I went and tried to make even more money, ended up making six figures at 26. And then I got to the end of that year, opened my final pay stub and realized after opening it, that for most of my life, and especially that year, I had lived unconsciously, just going through the motions, trying to figure out, you know, what'll make me happy? What'll fill this void? The opposite of unconscious is hyperconscious. I started a podcast called the hyper conscious podcast in 2017 and that's where all this started. I fell in love with podcasting. I fell out of love with my job and it just kept getting worse and worse where I didn't wanna work there anymore. I didn't wanna do the travel. I was not fulfilled. My mental health was starting to take a turn. And that next year I ended up sitting on the edge of a bed contemplating suicide because I was just so miserable and trapped and. my external results were so much greater than my internal state. And I felt like an imposter and there was just so much going on. So I ended up leaving that job three or four months later and going full time into what we're doing today. And in the beginning, when I say full time, there wasn't a lot to do because we were not successful and I was very broke. And transparently, leaving my job and doing this was the hardest thing I've ever done. Nothing comes close. It was the most challenging thing in the world. Here we are six years later, and I'm very blessed to be able to do this every day now.

Sue Dhillon:
Hmm. Oh, I love that story. Now, you know, let's talk about this rock bottom point and how you I'm always so fascinated in that mindset and then people like you who can shift out of that and then turn it into something really powerful and empowering.

Kevin Palmieri:
I'm very blessed because I have a lot of positive people around me. And I always have. I know for a lot of people, their circle is what holds them back, not what propels them. And I'm blessed because I've always had people in my life that believed in me. I just never believed in myself. So when I was having these dark thoughts and I was having these emotions and I was having these feelings, I had somebody in mind to text. I said, you know what? I'm going to text Alan. Because Alan's into self-improvement. Do I think he has all the answers? No, but I think he'll be able to pull me out of this dark hole. So I ended up texting him, and he's now my business partner and co-host. We've done 1,300 episodes together, so it all worked out very well. But I said, who could I throw out a line to that might be able to hang onto the line and help? And I just explained to him what was going on, and he said, Kev, over the last couple years, your awareness has shifted a ton, but your environments have remained the same. I think it's time for you to change your environment. And I always say this, Sue, I was looking as much for support and advice and strategy, I was looking for permission. I was looking for permission to make a different decision than either stay at this job or leave this earth. And I think a lot of us are looking for that permission, but here's the thing, imagine if I reached out to somebody who said, You know, your job is about making money and providing. It's not about being fulfilled or Kev. Just work the rest of the week, the weekend's here. I'm sure it'll get better next week. That is a different level of permission that probably wouldn't have served me. So I can't claim to have gotten here by myself. I'm very blessed to have people around me and people that made me feel safe enough to reach out to them. That is, that really is the key to that moment for me is I already felt very vulnerable. but I felt safe enough to reach out to somebody who I knew wouldn't judge me, who I knew would give me advice regardless of themselves. And I knew at least would listen. If I get nothing else, at least I would get somebody who would listen to me.

Sue Dhillon:
Okay, so Kevin, I think it's so powerful. And you're affirming so much, you know, I've been having this conversation around mental health more and more because I see that there's a huge need for it. And I just love that you affirm that you reached out to somebody, right? Because in those dark moments, we never realized like, hey, help is there. And there's someone there who wants to help you or other resources. If you don't have anybody. Right? So that's amazing. Now, just to dive a little deeper into this, like, did you have a, this is kind of a personal question here, but is this something you had struggled with, like mental health stuff, ongoingly, or did it just kind of come up for you with stress or?

Kevin Palmieri:
Yeah, that actually wasn't the first time I had had suicidal ideations. I, there was another time in my life where again, I had all the external results. I, you would never know I wasn't happy or I wasn't fulfilled or I wasn't on purpose or whatever. I was, I lived in Boston and my girlfriend and I lived with this, this other couple and we lived in this beautiful apartment. It was beautiful. And we had our bedroom on the third floor. and everybody else was at work and I was off of work. And I remember just sitting upstairs thinking like, if this is what life is, I don't wanna do it. It's like, it's just so dark and it's just so dreary and I'm not excited about anything. And like, this can't be all there is. There has to be more, I must be missing something. And then when my girlfriend got home

Sue Dhillon:
Listen.

Kevin Palmieri:
that night, I kind of explained to her how I was feeling. And she's like, you should really go to therapy. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not me. No, no, I have tattoos and I'm in shape and I like, I'm a man and I will not do that. But she kept talking to me about it and I ended up going to, I found a therapist in Boston and I went to therapy. And I remember, first of all, the anxiety of parallel parking in downtown Boston in the middle of the day when you're going to a therapy session is like a whole thing. So that was part one. But I remember walking into this like old brownstone building and had this spiral staircase. And I remember, walk, it felt like I was in a movie. I'm just walking up and up and up and there, these steps are creaking and, and I remember walking into the office and I was like, this is going to be terrible. I'm going to cry. This person is going to judge me. And I ended up having, of course I cried definitely, but this, this person that was there was so supportive and I learned so much about myself. And what was something that scared me so much was actually something I was looking forward to the next time. So I am a huge advocate when it comes to therapy. I don't have a therapist right now, but I am very much looking forward to getting one, even though my mental health is very much under control. I just think it's like anything else, right? Your car gets an oil change. You go and get a physical. I think having somebody in your corner who has expertise that you don't, that can help you raise your awareness is always a beneficial thing. And even if you don't have any quote unquote symptoms, it doesn't mean it's not worth proactively getting looked at.

Sue Dhillon:
Hmm. Oh, I love that. That's so powerful. And I love that you're successful and all of these things and you're able to speak so candidly about this and let people know that, you know, help is out there. You're encouraging they find help. And that I think just says so much. And so many people need to hear that and need to

Kevin Palmieri:
Thank

Sue Dhillon:
understand

Kevin Palmieri:
you.

Sue Dhillon:
that, hey, this is just a moment and we can still get beyond this moment, succeed. get on with it, life can be really great and wonderful and exciting and all of that. So that's amazing, I love that. Now tell me, Kevin, so let's talk about next level university.

Kevin Palmieri:
It's very interesting. In the beginning for me, it was this podcast that I liked having conversations with people. I wanted to know about their dreams and their fears and their goals. And when my business partner and I partnered up, it very much became, we had a core wound of growing up without fathers. So his father passed away in a car accident when he was two. I didn't know my dad, didn't meet him until I was 27. And we had a belief that if there was a balanced level, of masculinity around us, we would have been better off. If we had men in our lives who had studied self-improvement, studied emotional intelligence, and studied patience, and just tried to better themselves, we would have been better men. So that's when it really aligned for us that, oh, we wanna be holistically successful. I don't wanna be a millionaire and out of shape. I don't wanna be a millionaire and lonely. I wanna have health, wealth, and love. And I'm willing to work for health, wealth, and love. Right, I think that's an important. part. Then Sue, we realized that our listeners are primarily female. And we learned that pretty early on. And I remember thinking that doesn't make any sense. I'm a tattooed bodybuilder who I kind of feel like a bro and I want to talk about stuff that Joe Rogan talks about. I don't understand this. But we started to understand that Alan and I both had low self-worth. And that was the common wound of our community is low self-worth, sometimes struggling with self-belief and struggling to get away from toxic relationships. So once we realized that, that's when it really locked in of like, oh, we have a very unique opportunity, but we also have a very unique responsibility as two men leading a community of women to just become better men and really work on our characters more than anything. And then, you know, one episode went to two and two went to three, and now we do an episode every day and we have a business below next level university. I mean, that's the podcast, but there's a lot of other stuff. But... Yeah, for us, it's just how do we help our community get a little bit better every day when it comes to health, when it comes to wealth, and when it comes to love. And it's a wonderful cheat code for us because I have to get better every day if I'm going to lead the community effectively. So it's a very nice place to be because self-improvement is kind of my job now, which has the best benefits in the world.

Sue Dhillon:
Oh my god, I love this. Okay, this is so cool. So you, you know, it's almost like you guys were, because these women, I'm gonna just say were in the beginning, probably listening because they are trying to tap into some insights because they might have been going through stuff with some guys who were like struggling as well, right?

Kevin Palmieri:
Mm,

Sue Dhillon:
So they're

Kevin Palmieri:
yeah, fair.

Sue Dhillon:
kind of probably, do you think that's what it was?

Kevin Palmieri:
I think that was part of it, but I also, and you said this earlier, I think you said something along the lines that I don't wanna put words in your mouth, but you appreciated how transparent I was. And I think I've just kind of, I don't know, I've always tried to be vulnerable because I think it's important to just tell the truth. I think I can't help anybody if they don't know what I'm actually dealing with, right? I can't help you if I don't tell my truth. So I think I... had a unique perspective of his trying to keep it real and not claiming to know all the answers. I think that was a unique thing too. But other than that, no, I think part of it was, yeah, there's a guy talking about his feelings. Maybe I can get my partner to talk about their feelings. I think that was a big part of it, yeah, probably.

Sue Dhillon:
Yeah, and I think also, you know, this other part of, wow, this is really cool. These guys are over here working on themselves and that's so hopeful, you know, for people. And I think women, right? Cause kind of it probably gives them like this hope of, oh, maybe my guy is gonna start working on himself

Kevin Palmieri:
Mm.

Sue Dhillon:
too. Right?

Kevin Palmieri:
Yeah,

Sue Dhillon:
It has,

Kevin Palmieri:
yeah.

Sue Dhillon:
and

Kevin Palmieri:
And it,

Sue Dhillon:
watching your evolution.

Kevin Palmieri:
yeah, well here's the other thing too, and this is something that we kind of realized recently. And this is gonna sound like a blanket statement, I don't want it to be a blanket statement, just an observation that I've made over the last couple years. Much of the male self-improvement industry is super action-focused, external. We'll just say that. Wake up, grind your face off, doesn't matter if you sleep, your relationships don't matter, blah, blah, blah. much of the, maybe we'll say feminine or female self-improvement is the law of attraction in the universe and divine timing and all of that. We try to be a balance of both. I believe heavily in the law of attraction, but I also believe heavily in consistency. And I think we bring a unique perspective of health, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, emotional intelligence, but also, you know, get after it and make sure you're pouring into your body every day. because you'll be grateful you did. I think we try to have a unique harmony of spiritual but physical. And I think that's, I don't know, I don't know if that's, I'm not saying it's special to us, but I do think that's a different flavor that people are used to hearing, especially from two men who are in the gym every day trying to get better there, but we also have really good relationships and I'm the ultimate cat dad as I've coined myself. Like I have that soft side too. So I think it's important to be well-rounded that way. And I think that's something unique to us as well.

Sue Dhillon:
Hmm.

Kevin Palmieri:
Hopefully.

Sue Dhillon:
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it sounds like that's exactly what it is. Like, you know, the way you just laid it out, I think it's all of those things and people need and I love that you are kind of being so authentic and kind of breaking the mold and helping people not judge. Right. Because we can assume, OK, these guys are out working out and this and that. And there are these tough whatevers. But bringing incorporating that spiritual and all of that. That is so unique. And you know, most men aren't meshing those two worlds.

Kevin Palmieri:
Mm.

Sue Dhillon:
So I think that's so awesome that you're doing

Kevin Palmieri:
I appreciate

Sue Dhillon:
that.

Kevin Palmieri:
it.

Sue Dhillon:
Let me ask you, so what have you gleaned from your spiritual, what kind of spiritual work if you know, are you doing? Do you have like a regular routine? And what are some of the insights that you've got?

Kevin Palmieri:
I think I had a very heavy spiritual phase where I was like waking up every day listening to Deepak Chopra Seven spiritual laws like I had a very deep spiritual phase and I'm not as deep as I was then but for a lot of it for me it was like Yeah, you can get out and work and work and work and physical and physical and physical and do and do and do and do But there's also a balance of being understanding that for me like the balance of being and doing, but making sure I don't go too far on either end. That is the biggest thing that I learned. And then understanding that a lot of the spiritual concepts can also be understood in a physical language like the law of attraction, right? You attract what you are, not necessarily what you desire. You and I never would have connected if we weren't both podcasters. It probably wouldn't have happened. unless we were both doing something else where like attracted like. So I think I've started to understand that a lot of the stuff that seems super spiritual, there's a lot of ways to ground that in physical reality as well, which has also helped me understand it and then try to practice it more. I would say those are probably the two biggest things for me. Yeah.

Sue Dhillon:
Oh, I think that's so beautiful. And you know, that speaks volumes to your evolution and you are really embodying what you're teaching, Kevin, because I think that balance, that's kind of the critical component, you know, that's missing most often. Right.

Kevin Palmieri:
Yeah. Yeah.

Sue Dhillon:
Um, yeah, that is awesome. And now, you know, for people who are like stuck and struggling, what is your guidance? for those people.

Kevin Palmieri:
Yeah, I tend to be, I tend to kind of go the opposite direction of a lot of what I was seeing when I started this journey because I didn't resonate with it. I didn't resonate with have goals so big that they scare you. If your goals aren't big enough, or if your goals don't scare you, they're not big enough. That never resonated with me. I'm scared of everything. The last thing I need to do is set goals I don't believe I can achieve in. So for me, this is what I would say. I would say focus on the smallest thing possible that you can do. on a goal that seems pretty big. Keep it very, very, very simple. If you wanna start a business, you don't have to go buy a storefront. You can buy a book on how to start a business. Something small. I think a lot of us have been lied to when it comes to you have to have these massive audacious goals. And if you don't, you're not gonna amount to anything. Where the people that taught me that at least were people who had hyper belief in themselves. They didn't know what it was like not to believe in themselves. They've always believed in themselves. So, The advice I give is usually based on if you're struggling to believe in yourself, the last thing you need to do is create this giant mountain to scale, when in reality, the first step is getting to the base camp and then seeing that the mountain's a little bit smaller than you thought. So let's focus on the first couple steps. So for me, it's just, a lot of us feel stuck because we've determined that we're in a 12-foot hole and we have to climb 12 feet, when in reality, we just have to make the first foothold. So what is one new habit you can practice under health? Maybe you just weigh yourself every day. You have to go to the gym for an hour every day. Maybe you just weigh yourself, momentum, right? I just, a minute of momentum, okay, let's do that. Under wealth, what is one thing we can do? Maybe we just start tracking our bank account, right? It doesn't seem like a lot, but it adds up. Okay, we'll just do that, simple. And then maybe under love, you just, if you're in a relationship, every night before you go to bed, you play the gratitude game with your partner, right? My wife says one thing she's grateful for about me, and then I reciprocate. Seems super simple, it doesn't seem like a lot's gonna happen. But if you can use that as the foundation, if you can use that as a platform to build other habits on and build consistency on, you never know. I mean, you can get unstuck pretty quick. For a lot of us, I think unstuck is far more of a feeling

Sue Dhillon:
Thank you.

Kevin Palmieri:
than it is a location. Sometimes you just gotta feel a little bit of progress, and I find that tends to help a lot.

Sue Dhillon:
I love that. That is awesome. Practical guidance. Now for you, one of the things you said, you said you were, had been around a lot of people who were very confident, right?

Kevin Palmieri:
Mm-hmm.

Sue Dhillon:
So you were maybe, or I don't know if you were, tell me if you were. So, you know, now looking back, you have all these episodes, you have this company, you have all of this stuff you're doing. But Do you, what was it, what do you think it was? Did you always have this mindset of like, okay, these little baby steps and I'm gonna get somewhere really big or, what was your thought process back then? How has it evolved?

Kevin Palmieri:
It's a great question. I'm still afraid of a lot of the stuff I do. I'll be very transparent, okay? Before I go on shows, I listen. I try to listen and make sure I'm a good fit and I try to get to another host. And I was looking through your episodes and it's like, doctor, boom. You know, this episode with doctor, boom. And I was like, oh no. I had that moment of imposter syndrome. I'm not a doctor. I didn't even go to school. I didn't even go to school. So. I think what I've tried to do over the last six, seven years is identify the fear, identify the feeling, identify if it's imposter syndrome, and then I just look for the most recent and relevant proof. And I've been saying that for a long time. I went on a show recently that was hosted by a doctor that worked for NASA. And I was like, there's no way I should be on the show. There must be another Kevin Palmieri that they must have met. That's what goes through my head. But then the episode went really well. So the next time I had that opportunity, it was like recent and relevant. Well, last time it went really well. And I did that before this episode with you. It's like, well, I've been on a lot of shows that have that a bunch of doctors and it usually goes pretty well. So I've just tried to do that every time of, just because you're afraid doesn't mean it's gonna go horribly wrong. More often than not, I tend to surprise myself in a positive way. And so many of the... things I'm grateful for today, the opportunities, people, places, things, ideas, those are things I didn't even wanna do. Right, the opportunities that I have today, a lot of them are based on opportunities that I had that I didn't even wanna follow through on. So I just try to look at the most recent and relevant proof and that's really, really helped me a lot because I think it kinda takes the emotion out of it. Emotionally, I don't belong here in my mind because I'm not this and I don't have this. Logically, I've done this before and it's always gone better than expected. So why should I believe today won't? And obviously that's a fine line, right? You don't want to get entitled and just show up and, but that's helped to keep me grounded, but also help keep the momentum that I have going.

Sue Dhillon:
Hmm, that is awesome. Now, let me ask you, Kevin, so is there a part of you, right, as you're doing this, and I love this explanation here of kind of relevance and recent stuff and all of this, and staying grounded, but as you're evolving, as your following is growing, as you're becoming more and more successful, how is that mind shift? changing. Are there now do you at times when like a really big thing comes up? There's got to be a little excitement and less fear, right?

Kevin Palmieri:
Yeah, I get excited, I get excited, but I think... Somebody asked me, like, do you think imposter syndrome ever goes away? And I said, yeah, if you stop growing. I don't know, I don't expect it to ever go away because every time I get comfortable, there's some other opportunity that comes up. And then it's like, I don't know, can I really handle this? And then recent and relevant, okay, let's give it a shot. So it's definitely, I am excited, I'm excited about, you know, I told Alan this, I'm way ahead of where I expect it to ever be. But I think that's also the unique perspective of why I'm grateful for what I have. I mean, I do feel like I'm playing with house money. I do, I really, really do. You know, there weren't a lot of people that would bet that I'm gonna be, or that I would be where I am today. So I do feel like I'm playing with house money. And I do get excited, but I don't ever wanna lose sight of the fact that it's still challenging. Because the second I lose sight of that, I'm not able to help somebody who started where I started. Right? Yeah, I could sit here and drop a bunch of knowledge on, you know, you turn your losses into your lessons and you'll never lose a day in your life. It's like, yeah, I understand. But there's emotions under there and there's fear and there's the fear of rejection and all that. So it's important that I don't forget that. So yeah, I think the shortest version is yes, I'm very excited for a lot that's happening and I'm very excited for the future, but I also struggle with having bouts of limiting beliefs on the regular. And I just think it's important to put that out.

Sue Dhillon:
Okay, that speaks volumes to your evolution because there is this very substantive grounding, like aspect of being grounded to you. Where do you think that comes from? Or is there something you do to practice that, to stay

Kevin Palmieri:
Yeah.

Sue Dhillon:
grounded?

Kevin Palmieri:
Whether I am very low emotionally or very high emotionally, I tend to reflect on old content. You're in a very similar position where you have the opportunity to go look and say, October 14th of 2022, what was going on in my life when I did this episode with this person? Oh, I remember I just moved or I just got a new pet. I have a lot of reference. I have a lot of contrast to look back and say, 2017, man. Man, that was a long time ago. And like, what was going on then? Oh yeah, I remember that. That, it's really helped me. And here's the other thing too. In the beginning, I expected like our 34th episode, we interviewed Lori Harder. I don't know if you know who Lori Harder is, but she's big in our space. And I remember thinking, nice, we made it. This is it. Like we're gonna drop this episode and we're gonna blow to the top and everything's gonna be easy. That didn't happen. But I've also, so I've kind of had the expectation that this is gonna happen way faster than it's going to. And it didn't. But then I've also had times where it's like, wow, this is happening way faster than I thought it was going to. Interesting. So I think when you see both sides of the coin, it almost allows you to just say like, yeah, whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen, right? There's the spiritual side, but I can also do my best to influence absolutely everything that's going to happen, but it's going to go at the speed it's gonna go based on the amount of effort I'm putting in. And it just, I think that helps, it helps. And here's the last thing too. One of my clients said this. He said, the press is never right. You're never as good as they say, and you're never as bad as they say. You're usually somewhere in between. So I try to think of that for me as well. I'm very, very grateful for everything we have and where we are, but I'm also very, very hungry to get the impact and the profitability and the mastery that we're aiming for. And I try to hold that duality.

Sue Dhillon:
That is awesome. Now, Kevin, let me ask you, for people self-doubt, what is your advice to people who want to, you know, have some big dream, but there's just a lot of self-limiting beliefs and doubt around that. And I know there's this philosophy of starting small and taking little baby steps, but if you're just doubting yourself, what is your advice to that person?

Kevin Palmieri:
I would jump from your present and outside of your future, I would jump to your past. The reason you doubt yourself is most likely something that was downloaded into you that wasn't you, right? It was most likely an experience that happened when you were younger that you internalized or the way you were treated by a parent or something like that. Somebody asked me, if somebody only had an hour, and they said, I understand this is a loaded question, but if somebody only had an hour, what would you suggest they do to change their life? And I said, I would tell them to go to therapy or counseling because you're gonna learn so much about yourself that you're gonna learn about why you are where you are today. You're not where you are today based on what you did yesterday. It doesn't work that way. You're where you are based, or you're where you are today based on the last X amount of your years. Because if, when you're, for my example, if when you're a young, when you're a baby, your dad leaves and you start to think I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough. you're going to find reasons not to be good enough. It's just the way it's gonna work because you're looking for recent relevant proof. And you have to figure out where did that first come from in order to break it. Because if you can go back and say, well, Kev, you were a baby. You were in diapers. Did you have any influence on that? No, not really. Interesting. So is everything you thought somewhat incorrect? Maybe. That, I think I would seek outside counsel. I would seek. outside counsel from somebody who has the expertise that you're looking to figure out. Because here's the other thing, growth is hard and growth can be triggering and growth can be traumatic. And having somebody in your corner who knows how to deal with that, I cannot speak highly enough to that.

Sue Dhillon:
That is great guidance. It's not what I thought you were gonna say, but you know,

Kevin Palmieri:
Hehehehe

Sue Dhillon:
cause a lot of people are like, don't go to the past, forget about your past. But you're so right. I mean, there's so many things, and this is a conversation I have all the time about, you know, childhood trauma and layer upon layer and how, you know, oh, that happened to me 30 years ago, but you never really addressed it. And that was like a little layer, right? And... Um, so let me ask you now, has your demographic with the podcast, has it shifted or you've got to be having more men now? I mean, you've got

Kevin Palmieri:
No,

Sue Dhillon:
all kinds of

Kevin Palmieri:
no, no, it's mostly women. Yeah, it's mostly women. I think one of the reasons, this, my prediction is when we're more financially free and like I start to buy nicer things. I think the results I have will override some of the ego. We do have some men, like we have a few men on our team, but just as an example, when we were bringing one of them on, we said, what are your skills? And he said, I'm not very good at anything, but I'll work really hard. Okay, you're on. Like you're humble, you're humble. There's no ego there. He's one of the best guys in the world. So the level of, well, let's put it this way, unless you're not triggered by us, you're probably not gonna listen to us. And I know there's probably a lot of men that see us and they're like, oh, they're soft and whatever. And I have nothing but empathy. I completely understand. But if I have a really nice car, they'll probably think, yeah, it's probably worth listening to what they say because it got them really nice results. So mostly women, Sue, like a lot of women. The vast majority are women. He he

Sue Dhillon:
God, this

Kevin Palmieri:
he he.

Sue Dhillon:
is so disheartening because men need to be listening to this. And you know what I think, an aspect of it, I was actually just having a conversation with this psychologist who works with men. And I think a part of what it is, Kevin, is it is triggering something inside of them. It's probably really uncomfortable for a lot of the guys, ones who've maybe tried and they're like, oh no, I can't go back and listen to another episode of this. Because... It might have made them uncomfortable, but that's

Kevin Palmieri:
Yeah.

Sue Dhillon:
where they need to go.

Kevin Palmieri:
I understand. I empathize because I don't know if I would like me when I was 25 year old version of Kevin. I don't know if I would like me very much. And I understand because I'm a lot of the things that I was afraid of back then. So I have a very unique perspective of like, I don't know if I'd like me either. I don't blame you. Maybe you're just not ready yet. I wasn't. If I saw this at 25, you'd be like, dude, come on, man. No way, no way, that ain't the way. So I do, I understand at a very deep level. But here's the other thing too. Alan and I were on an interview one time and I was talking about how I dealt with a porn addiction. And he's like, I can't believe you talked about that. He's like, dude, how did you talk about that? And I was like, everybody deals with that. When is somebody gonna reach out and be like, hey man, you're really whatever for having that? It's like, I think the vast majority of men do have that. So if anybody reaches out. I'm looking more for the kisses on one cheek than the punches on the other. I know it'll help. I believe that'll help. If I believe it'll help, I have to say it. I have to, that's the way I wanna be. But I do, yeah, I understand. Eventually it will shift, but I also understand if I was 22, 23, 24, 25, I might be triggered by what we talk about as well.

Sue Dhillon:
Right. Well, I think it's amazing that you guys are having these conversations and you're like, I mean, you're, you know, this is hypothetical here, not that you're saying screw you guys, but you're doing it anyway, right? You keep having the conversations around vulnerability and all of these things that men are not talking about enough, but I think it's just so critical and it's just so powerful that you're doing this. I just absolutely love

Kevin Palmieri:
Thank you. I appreciate it. It's the mission. It's not about us. It's bigger than us. It's not about us.

Sue Dhillon:
And you know what, you and I both know there's at least, even if it's just one, right, but it's probably like a hundred or a thousand or more who had a little epiphany or insight from something you shared, right? Like it's the mission. So even just that is amazing.

Kevin Palmieri:
Thank

Sue Dhillon:
Now

Kevin Palmieri:
you.

Sue Dhillon:
what advice do you have to those 25 year olds who don't? want to listen because I got some 25 year olds who listen.

Kevin Palmieri:
Sometimes the advice you want to hear the least is the advice you need the most. If you had everything that you wanted, you wouldn't need different advice. If everything you needed was everything you had, you wouldn't need anything. And you wouldn't want for anything. So it's that. I now understand you've heard the adage, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. That never made any sense to me. I was like, that's whatever. What is that? That must be in a fortune cookie or something. No, it makes total sense. Your awareness, if your awareness isn't high enough to understand something, it's just not gonna land. It won't resonate. It can't resonate. So that, it's, focus on. focus on small improvements. What seems very uncool now is also the thing that's gonna differentiate version A of you today from version B of you 10 years from today. Alan and I did a speech to high schoolers and I was talking to somebody after the speech and I really wanted to say this on stage but I didn't wanna be rude. But I wanted to say, I know a lot of you think this isn't cool what we're talking about. But I can promise you some of the 33 year olds that I know wish they started self-improvement sooner because their life is starting to trend downwards. And you're at the age where you can start to trend your life upwards and that you're

Sue Dhillon:
Thank

Kevin Palmieri:
in control.

Sue Dhillon:
you.

Kevin Palmieri:
So that's probably what I would say. In 10 years, your life will look drastically different than it does today. Is it gonna be in the way that you want it to be or is it just gonna be in the way that it is?

Sue Dhillon:
Oh, that is awesome advice. Okay, Kevin, so a couple of things. One, you just, I love what you're up to. I think it's so cool what you guys are doing. And I just have loved all of the insights and wisdom you've shared here with us today. It's been really great. You've been

Kevin Palmieri:
Thank

Sue Dhillon:
so awesome.

Kevin Palmieri:
you.

Sue Dhillon:
Thank you.

Kevin Palmieri:
I appreciate it, I appreciate it very much.

Sue Dhillon:
You are so awesome. And now in closing, so I'm gonna have links to all of your stuff for everybody. And in closing, if there were just one last message, your hope for everyone out there, what would that closing message be that you'd like to leave everyone? So, I'm gonna leave you with that. I'm gonna leave you with that.

Kevin Palmieri:
This one's a tough one, it's a question. And the reason I share this is because I think for most people, I'm very blessed that I had a supportive circle. I understand not everybody has that privilege. This is my question. Are the people in your life the best from your past or the best for your future? A lot of us have people in our lives because they've always been in our lives. And we're not exactly sure what purpose they serve. They've just always been there. I would just ask, are they here because they've always been? or are they here because they're gonna help you get to the life that you want in the future? I like to leave people with that just because I think it's just a very powerful question that can help you raise your awareness and a new awareness is a new opportunity.

Sue Dhillon:
Oh my god, I love it. That was an amazing close.

Kevin Palmieri:
Thank you.

Sue Dhillon:
You've been so wonderful, Kevin. Thank you so much.

Kevin Palmieri:
Thank you, Sue. I appreciate it.

Sue Dhillon:
Thank you.