Blossom Your Awesome

Hope And Healing With Dr. Kylie Burton

May 16, 2023 Sue Dhillon Season 1 Episode 132
Blossom Your Awesome
Hope And Healing With Dr. Kylie Burton
Show Notes Transcript

Hope and Healing with Dr. Kylie Burton

Functional Medicine Doctor Kylie Burton is giving us insights on episode #132 of the Blossom Your Awesome Podcast.

She says our blood work is a puzzle piece to the bigger question and knowing the right information like exactly what kind of blood work you need and how to interpret that is where real healing begins with our health.

Listen in to some really great practical insights Dr. Burton offers. 

To see more of my work  - blossomyourawesome.com

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https://blossomyourawesome.com/mindfulness-1

Where I write and cover mindfulness and other things to help you Blossom Your Awesome.

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Sue Dhillon:
Hi there, today on the show, we have got Dr. Jen Harrison here with us. I am so honored and delighted. Dr. Jen, thank you so much for being here. Welcome to the show.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Oh, you're welcome Sue. Thanks so much for inviting me.

Sue Dhillon:
I am so excited to have you here. Get into your story. You are a stress and body mind health expert, success trainer, success mindset coach, EFT practitioner, bestselling author and speaker. Oh my God, that was a mouthful. So give us a little bit of the backstory, how you got into this line of work.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Well, it may sound kind of obvious, but I sort of feel like my whole life has led me up to where I am. You know, I remember when I was in grade five, I wanted to be a teacher, and in grade nine I wanted to be a psychologist, and then in grade 10 I learned about athletic therapy and sports medicine. And so anyway, I ended up first of all, getting a university degree where I majored in psychology and minored in zoology, where I studied advanced human anatomy. So I started off studying the mind and the body totally separately. But then after university, then I went on to study athletic therapy. And that was in the mid to late eighties. And so I was exposed just a little bit to sports psychology, which was just sort of starting to come to the forefront more around that time. And I worked full time for six years as an athletic therapist before going back to school to become a chiropractor. And during that time, I learned a lot of different hands-on techniques, but that also took into account the mind-body connection and even some energy medicine components as well. And so, yeah, so then I became a chiropractor. So I've been working in healthcare for 35 years, 25 years as a chiropractor, but I've also for over 30 years, I've been studying mind, body medicine and energy medicine techniques and looking at the impact that mental and emotional stress has on our physical health and wellbeing and our ability to heal. And also vice versa, you know, if you're dealing with an injury or an illness that's gonna affect you mentally, emotionally as well. So I've incorporated that into my practice many, many years, almost 35 years. And then, but I've also been really committed to like spiritual and personal development along the way as well. And so, about around 2008, I've always had a low volume practice because I like to spend quality time with my patients, but I was wanting to be able to reach more people. And I thought, well, maybe I'll write a book. And of course, you know, that took time to, you know, going back and forth and ruminating on how I was going to put that together. And then 10 years ago, I thought, well, I'm going to need a website as a platform for my book. And of course, like many entrepreneurs, it's taken on many different incarnations over time. But, yeah, so in 2015, I self-published my first book. And then I also had a chance to write a chapter in one of Jack Canfield's books, too, called The Soul of Success. And for those of you who don't know who Jack is, he's one of the top success trainers in the world. He was one of the co-authors of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series that have sold, I don't know, 500 million copies around the world. And so yeah, I was able to do training with him to be a success mindset trainer. And then I've learned a lot of different mind, body, medicine and energy medicine techniques over the years, like body talk, Reiki, but then also emotional freedom techniques, also known as EFT tapping. So that's one of the key tools that I use in my success mindset coaching. So I kind of, so I still have a part-time chiropractic practice, but then I also have my online business where I offer online courses, as well as one-on-one success mindset coaching.

Sue Dhillon:
Wow, that is amazing. So many questions. Now,

Dr. Jen Harrison:
I'm sorry.

Sue Dhillon:
before I forget, so Soul of Success, that is incredible that you wrote a chapter with Jack Canfield. Of course, I know who he is and I'm sure most of my listeners do as well. So can you give us a little synopsis? I mean, what is the Soul of Success? What does that entail? I know that's

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Thank

Sue Dhillon:
a loaded

Dr. Jen Harrison:
you.

Sue Dhillon:
question, but as you know, to simplify that for us.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Yeah, so the chapter that I wrote was in some ways a little mini-synopsis of my book, Stress Self to Best Self, a Body, Mind, Spirit Guide to Creating a Happier and Healthier You. And just looking at kind of key areas of our life in terms of obviously, you know, mental emotional and working on self-care and dealing with emotions and stress as it comes along. But also looking at like nutrition and exercise, relationships. and also spiritual component as well. And I love, I've been studying science and spirituality for many years, so I find it quite interesting some of the research that's been done around spirituality, even just finding that people who are spiritual and have a good spiritual community will heal more quickly after having a major surgery or a major illness. So yeah, so I kind of did a quick synopsis of all of those things in the chapter that I wrote for Jack's book. and then I went into it in more detail in my book.

Sue Dhillon:
Mm-hmm. And now, you know, talk to us about stress. And I feel like so many times, everyone has some form of stress in their lives, right? But a lot of times it gets overlooked. We don't even realize, we don't acknowledge it, we're not addressing it, and it's kind of brewing in the background and, you know, turns into other health things and all kinds of stuff. So, so many questions around this, but... You know, give us an idea of like, I feel one of the things most common types of stress that gets overlooked.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Yeah, so what I often tell my coaching clients and my students is that if you're a human being living on planet earth, stress is inevitable, but burnout is optional. So I think it's really important that we recognize that. The other thing too is that I divide things in terms of like, you know, self-care tools. I divide it into stress management versus stress processing. And so stress management is exactly that, you're managing the stress. Whereas stress processing, you're actually getting to the root of the issues that are causing you to stress. And both are important, but I find that there's a little bit, there's a lot of emphasis on stress management, which is good, but you're going to just keep on being on the hamster wheel of stress if you're not getting to the root cause of the stress. And so in terms of stress management, things like, you know, getting enough sleep and eating healthy foods and, you know, drinking lots of water. And yes, so sleep and nutrition, water, exercise, you know, a moderate amount of socializing, you know, being connected with your friends and with family and, you know, spending time outdoors in nature. journaling, all those things are really important for managing the stress. But then it really takes a certain amount of self-reflection and that's when it can be helpful to work, you know, with a psychologist or to work with a mindset coach or EFT practitioner to look at some of the underlying stressors because a lot of times it's tied in with belief systems in terms of things that we were taught, you know, when we were kids from either our parents or teachers or relatives or just, you know, from society. And a lot of those, and just to clarify, like with a belief system, a belief is basically just a repetitive thought that you have over and over again, to the point where you believe it to be 100% true. And it may be true or it may not be true, but if we repeat it often enough, then we often start believing that to be true. And so a lot of the belief systems that we learned as children, either that were taught to us directly or were modeled to us by, as I said, parents, relatives, teachers, and so on, A lot of that gets imprinted in our subconscious mind. So it's running in the background. It's like the operating system on your computer. If you've got a Mac or PC, if you're writing up a document or you're on social media, you're not even thinking about the operating system. It's just running in the background. Well, that's how it is with a lot of our belief systems. And so just to give you an example, when I was debating about going back to school to become a chiropractor, by the time, because I... I had to do chemistry and organic chemistry as prerequisites because I hadn't done those in my undergraduate degree. So I was having to do those before I could even apply for chiropractic college. So I was talking with a friend one day and I said, oh jeepers, you know, like, you know, by the time I do all that and assuming, you know, like I get in like right away, like I'm going to be 33 years old when I graduate. At the time that felt really old to me because I was in my late, you know, mid to late twenties. But I remember my dear friend saying to me, she said, Jen. You're going to be 33 anyway, you may as well be a chiropractor too. So it's just such wonderful wisdom from one of my best friends that has just stayed with me all this time. So we get these limiting beliefs, like I had the limiting belief going, wow, 33 is too old to be, you know, embarking on an additional career. Well, is that true? Well, no, like tons of people, you know, reinvent themselves in their 20s, their 30s, their 40s, 50s, 60s. You know, Jack Hanfield was 50. when Chicken Soup for the Soul took off, and Louise Hay, who is an amazing leader in self-development, I think she was 60 when she started Hay House Publishing, which is now one of the largest publishing houses in the world for spiritual and personal development books. So yeah, so we can have these limiting beliefs that actually can put additional stress on us if we go around believing like, you know, I'm not smart enough, I'm too old, I'm too young, I'm too fat, I'm too thin, you know, whatever. You know, no one in my family has ever done this before. Yeah, you can really not only limit yourself in terms of blossoming your awesome, but you can also put a lot of additional stress on yourself too. And so that's where tools like emotional freedom techniques, also known as EFT or tapping, can really help to get to the root of those limiting belief systems. It could be tied in with a specific event, or it could just be a And so then you can help to clear that out. And by clearing that out, not only does that help you to expand your potential, but then it also can help clear out some things that are stressing you out that you may be sort of on the hamster wheel of, you know, you know, you release the stress, but then kind of the same thing comes back. It might be in a slightly different form, but it can help you get off that hamster wheel of stress. So a lot of the stress that we experience, We have way more control over than we think that we do. Yeah, but you have to be proactive about it. And so, you know, we live in a society where it's passive. It's like, you know, pop a pill or, you know, somebody else will do it for you. But the bottom line is, and don't get me wrong, I mean, there's wonderful, you know, sometimes you need medical care. Sometimes you need, you know, prescription medication. Sometimes you need to see a chiropractor. Sometimes you need acupuncture. Sometimes you need to see your dentist. Sometimes you need to work with a coach. All those things are really important. But the bottom line is that it takes some reflection and it takes the inner work. And a lot of people don't wanna do that. It's scary. If they think it's gonna take too much work, it's gonna be too hard. But I mean, that's where the gold is.

Sue Dhillon:
Wow, that was awesome. And now Dr. Jen, tell us, so the stress management to me sounds almost like a kind of a clinical thing where it's kind of like the band-aid, right? It's that, oh, I've got high cholesterol. Let me just take this pill and then I'm managing that versus like you say with the stress processing actually getting to the root of the problem. So is... Is there a simple tip, practical exercise, something people can do to help process stress? Second question in relation to that, is there actually a way where you don't have to hold on to stress? It doesn't have to just be something you manage, but you can actually release it. First, is there a simple at-home exercise? you know, ones who are listening can do to help process stress. And then is there something to help release?

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Yeah, excellent. Wonderful question, Sue. I love this. So first of all, I don't want to minimize stress management because it is important. And when you're in fight or flight mode, you can actually lose up to 70% blood flow to your prefrontal cortex, which is a really important part of your brain for coming up with creative solutions, for learning and retaining new information, for around decision making. And so... I have a meme I created going, you can't stress yourself into finding solutions. So just managing the stress and doing like simple things throughout your day will get you in a better space, not only mentally, emotionally, but like physiologically in terms of optimizing your brain functioning so that then you can get into doing processing. So a simple thing that I like to teach people is just to stop like once an hour and take 10 deep breaths in and out. because that'll send a calming signal to your brain, that'll help to calm your brain, it'll help to calm your nervous system and help to move you out of fight or flight mode. Because what ends up happening is that we may start our day stress-wise here, but then it keeps on building and building and building and building. So at the end of the day, our stress level's way up here. And if we hope to get a good night's sleep, we've gotta somehow bring it down. And as much as, and I mean, I'll have to do this too, binge watching your favorite series or. or you know, it's getting into the slippery slope of using alcohol or drugs or whatever to calm your nervous system. You don't wanna be doing that. But if you're doing something once an hour to calm your nervous system, then it's more like the stress kinda comes up, but then you can bring it down. Stress goes up, you can bring it down. So it's more modulating it, instead of it, you know, rising, rising, rising throughout the day. So I love doing just, yeah, take 10 deep breaths in and out and a simple mantra that I teach people to say, you know, you need to say it to yourself in your head. As you inhale, I breathe in relaxation. And as you exhale, you see I breathe out tension. And you just repeat that 10 times as you take the breaths in and out. And you can use whatever mantra you want. I mean, a lot of people will have their favorite mantra, so you can use whatever you want. But I like that one, because it's just very simple. And I always tell people, you're gonna be breathing anyway, so you may as well use it to your advantage. And so it's just really simple. It only takes a few seconds to do. And it doesn't matter where you are. I mean, I've literally done that one just standing in line at the grocery store when there was a long line up. So, you know, you can literally do it anytime, anywhere. So I would, you wanna kind of, you wanna set yourself up for success in terms of the processing. So that's just a really nice way to be managing things throughout your day, but also setting yourself up so that you're in a better mindset, but also so your brain is functioning more optimally to then get into the processing. One of the things I love about emotional freedom techniques, I'm just gonna... quickly explain it for, I'm sure a lot of your listeners and viewers are familiar with it, but some people won't be. It's an energy psychology technique that's been around since the early 90s. And it involves tapping over a specific set of acupressure points on your head and upper body while verbally stating what's bothering you. And so what I love about emotional freedom techniques is that it's great to work with a practitioner because there's actually 48. like at least 48 techniques that fall under the umbrella of emotional freedom techniques. But there's also one called the basic recipe that anybody can learn how to do to help deal with day-to-day stress. So I have a tutorial on my website and I've created some EFT tapping meditations to help people with overwhelm and anxiety and fear and fear of public speaking. And there's lots of applications for EFT. Now, if you're dealing with some trauma, either... currently or something from childhood. And that could be little T trauma, like maybe being made fun of, although that can sometimes be a big T trauma when you were a child. Or if you were abused or witnessed something violent and it's big T trauma, that's when you really wanna be working either with a psychologist, who's an EFT practitioner, or who knows other somatic therapies, mind-body techniques, or working with a coach or someone who's an EFT practitioner. But yeah, in terms of self-care, you can do a lot of processing, if you're looking at limiting beliefs, even with doing EFT tapping on your own, in terms of getting into the, you might be holding yourself back from reaching out to certain clients for your business, or maybe asking for a promotion or a raise at work if you're working in corporate. And so any fears around that, you can use some EFT to help. process that so that you can help to clear that out.

Sue Dhillon:
I love that. That is such awesome guidance. I'm going to have links to all of your stuff for people so they can

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Oh great.

Sue Dhillon:
be sure to access some of those resources. Now talk to us, Dr. Jen, about this notion of brain power and the brain boost. I hear and read so much about the fact that we're only using a certain small percentage of our brain. So many of us, you know, that whole burnout thing. So talk to us about this, break this down for us.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Yeah, again, awesome question. It's important to appreciate, I call it the body-mind, because your mind and body are completely interconnected and it's literally impossible to separate the two. Like Harvard Medical School's had a mind-body medicine clinic I think since 1981. So it's not like it's, and I mean, and the concept of it has been part of ancient healing practices for, you know, thousands and thousands of years. But what we need to appreciate is that our... thoughts and our emotions literally affect our physiology. So just as an example, let's say you had an argument with someone, you know, maybe with your spouse or partner or whoever a week ago. And if you're sitting there and you're stewing about it and getting yourself kind of worked out about it, and we've all done this, right? You know, you feel the tension in your shoulders, you feel the tension in your stomach, you know, your breathing might get... change a little bit, your hip palms might get a little bit sweaty. Well if you think about what's actually happening right in that moment, you're just sitting there, you know, in your living room or at a red light or wherever you may be. But what's happening in your mind, you're getting yourself all worked up because you're, you know, on the hamster wheel of going through this argument that you may have had. But physiologically what's happening is that... You're activating your fight or flight mode, so that's impacting your breathing, that's impacting your blood pressure, that's affecting your cortisol levels, which is a stress hormone. You'll have an elevated stress hormones that can affect the antibodies, immunoglobulins in your saliva, that can impact your digestive system when we get stressed out. We actually get decreased blood flow going to our digestive system, fewer digestive enzymes being produced. And as I said, if you really get yourself stressed out about something, or especially chronic stress, then you can lose up to 70% blood flow in your brain because your brain is in survival mode. And when you're in survival mode, you're not in intellectual mode. You're in fight or flight mode. Now the flip side of that is that when you're focusing on even gratitude, it sounds like you know that'll chestnut. really allowing yourself not to just mentally be in gratitude, but feeling the gratitude, like emotionally being in a state of gratitude, that can totally change your physiology, that can lower cortisol levels, that can increase oxytocin, which is a neurotransmitter hormone called the love hormone or pedal hormone that makes us feel good. And so our thoughts have a huge impact on our body and including our brain. as well. And that goes both ways. That goes from, you know, when you're in stress mode, but then when you're also intentionally bringing yourself into what's called rest and digest mode and, you know, doing that through EFT or through meditation or through, you know, yoga or Tai Chi or Qi Gong or other practices that send a calming signal to your nervous system. So that, so we need to appreciate how powerful our thoughts are both in terms of harming our health, but then also healing ourselves too.

Sue Dhillon:
Wow, oh my god, I love that.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
And there was a second part to your question and I can't remember what it was.

Sue Dhillon:
You know, I think that was the previous question, but you

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Okay.

Sue Dhillon:
know with this is you know, just right along with that is there something You can suggest like a simple exercise for boosting or

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Yes.

Sue Dhillon:
you know

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Yeah, okay, good. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me of that. Well, there's some really, as I said, just like simple practical things. So even just that breathing meditation that I mentioned a few minutes ago, that is simple but powerful. And I'm all about simple, powerful, actionable techniques. And you know, and there's lots of apps, of course too, that have like wonderful meditations on them too. But you know, it's funny, I had a patient a couple of years ago. And I had taught her how to do the simple breathing meditation. Like I breathe in relaxation, I breathe out tension. And so I had shown it to her and then, you know, I saw her several weeks later and I was saying, oh, you like how, you know, how are you doing with that in terms of, you know, managing your stress through the day? And she said, oh, well, she says, you know, I can't really access my phone during the day at work, like to access the, you know, the meditation app that she had. So I'm not doing it as much. And I said, well, you know you can just breathe, right? Like you don't need an app for that. So we're so connected to our cell phones, right? That we think, oh, you know, I can only do it if I've got an app on my phone. And it's just like, well, no, you can, as I said, I've literally just in the, you know, in line up at the grocery store, done that meditation just to pass the time. So doing simple things like that, that you can do throughout the day. When your brain is fully hydrated, it's 80% water. And so a lot of times we get into you know, we get stressed out, we get tired. So then we're into the caffeinated beverages. So we're into the coffees, we're into the, oh my gosh, don't even get me started on energy drinks. So all these things that are actually water vampires, like they actually suck water out of you, they dehydrate you. And so, yeah, so I mean, you have just making sure you're drinking lots of water. And then practicing good sleep hygiene too. So, you know, a lot of people are like scrolling through social media, like right up until they go to bed. Well, you know, you want to be off screens at least an hour before you go to bed because the light, not even including the content of what you're looking at, is yeah, is gonna be disrupting your brain in terms of getting yourself into a calm state. And then EFT tapping is just a real simple and powerful way that you can use. And depending on whether you're self-employed, you're an entrepreneur, you're working from home, then you've got a little bit more freedom with that. But even if you're working in an office or have another job, yeah, you can go into the washroom and go ahead and do some tapping if you need to, to calm your nervous system down. So those are some... like really simple tools. And as I said, I have some guided meditations. I have some guided meditations as well as some EFT tapping meditations that are free to access on my website too. So those are just some real simple but powerful self-care tools to start incorporating. Yeah.

Sue Dhillon:
I love that more awesome practical guidance. I just love, love that. Now tell us, okay, so switching gears here, mindset. You know, what is it that keeps people from succeeding?

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Okay, well, you and I could talk for a day on that. There's lots of things. I think there's kind of two key things with that with regard to mindset. I think one is just, is being in stress mode a lot. So as I said, when you're in stress mode, your brain and your body are literally in fight or flight mode. So you're not in intellectual creativity, creative solutions mode. So that's part of it. The other thing too with our brain is that we have something that's built into, like everybody has it built in, it's called the negativity bias, which has been with us since, and with our ancestors since we were all cave people, needed to be on the lookout for bears and tigers. And so even though, depending on where you live in the world, we don't have to worry about bears and tigers so much anymore, pouncing and attacking us and eating us. You know, we have other things like our mortgages and our bills and, you know, what may be happening, you know, politically or just, you know, safety in our neighborhoods or, you know, what's happening in our relationships. So our brains are kind of built in to always look for the negative and to look for something to that may be potentially harmful for us. So being aware of that is really important so that you can take a step back and go, okay, I'm feeling really stressed out right now, but what's actually happening here? well, there's no tiger coming after me, nobody's yelling at me, I'm actually safe, I'm just sitting here, I'm having a conversation with Sue today. You know, I don't need to be, that's my negativity bias kicking in. So just even having that awareness, you know, can be helpful. But those are kind of two main things that hold us back. And then the other thing is limiting beliefs. And so again, a lot of those are ingrained in us from, you know, from when we were kids and either taught to us directly or even just modeled, you know, to us as well. And so it's interesting, like in my family, it was like, well, you know, even if you had a success in some area, whether it be in school or sports or, you know, piano or whatever. everything was low-key. It was just like, oh, you know, good for you, Jen, but then it was just like very low-key. There wasn't like a big celebration. There wasn't, you know, telling all your friends and neighbors. It was just, it was kept very low-key because it was important to be modest and it's rude to be boastful. So that's what was imprinted in me. And I'm not saying that that's that's good or bad, but a key success principle to help you gain... create momentum and gain momentum, is to stop and acknowledge your past successes and to give yourself credit for what you've accomplished, whether it be personally, whether it be professionally, and to, you know, I even encourage people to, you know, to keep a success journal. And it doesn't have to be something huge, it could just be that, you know what, I did my 10,000 steps today, or I made a cold call to a client, or I, you know, followed up on an invoice that, you know, one of my clients was owing, or... You know, it doesn't have to be anything super huge. And that's another thing we put limits. That's a limiting belief. It's just like, oh, it has to be something huge before it counts. And I'm like, no, everything counts. And so it's a mind shift, mindset shift, I should say, in terms of going, yeah, like everything counts. And so, yeah, so there's a lot of limiting beliefs like that that hold us back. And a couple of common ones are fear of failure. you know, we don't want to be judged. So maybe we're not going to start that blog or maybe we're not going to, you know, post any reels on social, you know, Instagram, or we're not going to write a book because it could be, you know, criticized and given one star on Amazon. And so, you know, and that's, that's legit. You know, we don't want to, you know, be judged. Nobody likes to be judged. But then there's also fear of success as well. It's just like, Oh, if I'm really successful with this, there's going to be expectations on me. People might think, you know, like I'm too big for my britches now. They might think that I'm, you know, going to be boastful and arrogant because I have this big success. So there's, so fear of failure and fear of success, I would say, are two, like, key things that hold all of us back. And the limiting beliefs are really going to kick in every time we're taking ourselves to the next level. So if we're just, you know, floating along in our comfort zone, you know, we can manage all of that. But when we take ourselves to the next level, like going, yeah, you know what, I am going to create a digital course and I'm going to launch that. Ooh. Or I'm going to start guesting on podcasts. Eek. You know, and so when you start, yeah, taking yourself to the next level, yeah, that's usually when the limiting beliefs come in and go, oh, well, you know, you're not good enough to be doing that. And, oh, well, somebody else is already doing that. So like, you know, who are you to have, you know, your message? when somebody else is doing it and doing it like way better than you ever could. So it's important to be mindful of that and it's also important and this happens to everybody. I mean even like top leaders in self-development, the ones who are like really honest about their journey will tell you that you know, yeah they had all this resistance, you know, when they made their first million but then they had... you know, other resistance that came in when they, you know, made their second book in or, you know, whatever it may be, or, you know, they had a lot of resistance launching their first book, but then, you know, every time they, you know, write another book and publish it, you know, other things will come up. So, and it's the same with, you know, Olympic athletes. So it doesn't matter where you are in your journey, whether you're like just starting out a new business or whether you're an Olympic athlete or, you know, top in self-development field, every single person experiences this. So it's a matter of recognizing it and then having tools and having resources in terms of like working, you know, with a coach, mindset coach, to then help you work through things. So I think even just acknowledging that you're not alone in this, like every single person on the planet experiences this. I know that was a huge relief for me going really? Cause you know, it can kind of look like, you know, the top people, everybody has it all figured out. You know, you only get the A-side version on social media. But if you're following, you know, genuine people, you'll realize that, yeah, you know, we all have issues. I mean, I've got tons of tools, but yeah, I've got mindset issues that I'm working on all the time. You know, that's just part of the journey. And so,

Sue Dhillon:
Okay.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
as I said, having tools like emotional freedom techniques, and there's another technique I do called body talk, but you would need to work with a practitioner for that. But in terms of what you can do to work. with yourself, EFT is a really great tool to help with that.

Sue Dhillon:
Oh, I love that. And, you know, I love that you say you're always working on yourself still and have doubts and it's this ongoing process. And, you know, I find that like the highest achievers are always, they're kind of, they've always got that next goal, right? That next thing, they're kind of never, they're always aiming for more. And, you know, and that can be a bad thing, right? If you're just kind of like, go, go, go and never stop. but this idea of always wanting to improve and do better.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Yeah, and you've hit on something really critical here, Sue, is that there's a difference between, I talk to people about whether they're feeling driven or inspired.

Sue Dhillon:
Mm-hmm.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
So it can look the same on the outside, but what's happening on the inside can be two totally different things. And so I think it's really important. I wrote a blog actually not that long ago about the hustle and grind versus the flow and glide. And so certainly with entrepreneurs, there's definitely a masculine energy. I'm going to call it a masculine energy about like the hustle and grind and you got to go and you got to keep on, you know, setting new goals and achieving new goals. And you're right. On the one hand, that can be a really great thing because it can allow you to not only live out your potential but to help a lot of people. to serve a lot of people by sharing your message in a variety of formats or serving people in a variety of different ways. But if you're going, oh jeepers, I've got to get this done, I've got to get this done and I'm exhausted, but I've got to get this done and oh my gosh, I've only achieved two out of the 10 goals that I set for myself for this year. Yeah, that's a one-way ticket to burnout. And so I think we all need to, myself included, we all need to be kinder to ourselves. One thing that I learned through Jack's training, because typically what I've done is I'll set a goal and then when I achieve it, it's just like, oh good, I achieved it, boom, onto the next thing. So I wasn't stopping to like savor it or even to give myself credit for accomplishing that goal. And so... That's something that was a learned skill for me that I still have to work on because it's easy to like, oh yeah, achieve that goal, go on to the next or to beat yourself up if you haven't reached your goals in the in the timeframe either. So I think it's really important. And the other thing that can happen to and this happens to me all the time, I'll start off feeling inspired and then somehow it's very insidious. The next thing I know, I'm kind of white knuckling, you know,

Sue Dhillon:
Mm-hmm.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
trying to achieve the goal. I'm going. Well, when did that happen? You know, I'm pretty sure like yesterday, I was feeling really inspired and excited and now all of a sudden, you know, I'm putting all this pressure on myself. So it's good to just kind of take a step back and a learned skill is to just tune in to how you're feeling in this moment. And your body will tell you, you know, are you feeling inspired or are you feeling driven? Are you feeling like stress that feels like it's... like sucking your energy or is it stress that where you feel excited

Sue Dhillon:
Mm-hmm.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
you know about it because not all stress is negative there's positive stress as well

Sue Dhillon:
and

Dr. Jen Harrison:
but yeah so

Sue Dhillon:
And just to kind of decipher here between, so the inspired is like excited to create and make something and offer something. And it's this good, positive, warm, fuzzy feeling versus the driven that almost can come from a place of competitiveness and insecurity and this need to self-validate for others, right? Is that kind of the difference there between the two?

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Yeah, I think that's a good way to describe it. Because when, and again, it kind of comes down to semantics because, you know, you might talk to some like Olympic athletes or, you know, even actors or whatever, and like, they were really like driven to, you know, to achieve their goals. But for the most part, it was a positive thing for them. So it depends on semantics, but for me, the way that I look at it is I divide it between feeling driven or feeling inspired. And so the driven can kind of, that's what will kind of drive you into the ground, as opposed to, you know, feeling inspired. And then it doesn't feel like work and it doesn't feel. And, you know, I mean, as I said, there can be some positive stress. You know, you can be, you know, feeling kind of jittery, you know, before you do like a public speaking gig or, you know, launching your new book or even putting out a new blog, you know, on maybe a topic you haven't talked about before or whatever. But, yeah, I think with the with the driven, there's more of a heaviness. around it as opposed to inspired where it's just like, oh, I'm so excited to, you know, get this next book out or I'm so excited to be, you know, talking to Sue today on her podcast or, you know, and to her viewers. So, yeah, I think if you tune into how you're feeling and ask yourself, how am I feeling about this? And as I said, you can start off inspired and then get into the driven mode and that's fine. Like that happens. That's, you know, that's a normal thing to happen. But just recognizing it then can help get you. back on track so that you're not driving yourself into the ground.

Sue Dhillon:
Oh, I love that. Thank you for that clarification there. Now, Dr. Jenn, tell us, you know, so with successful people, what have you found in your, you know, with your expertise, your years of work doing this, what have you found are the most common traits of successful people?

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Oh, that is an excellent question. Well, I think anybody who has a certain degree of success, whether, and there's a quote by Robert Louis Stevenson that I just love, and it goes, "'To be who we are and to become what we are capable of becoming is the only end in life.'" And I really love that because I think people who have true success, whether that be... you know, people who are raising a healthy family, or people who have a New York Times bestselling book, or people who have, you know, gone to the Olympics, or, you know, are top in their field. They have a high level of self-awareness. And, but the other thing too, is that anybody who's successful has failed along the way. And the really ones that have good integrity. They're more than happy to tell you about their failures. I mean, say with Jack Canfield, for example, he and Mark Victor Hansen, they were rejected 144 times with Chicken Soup for the Soul books before they finally found a publisher who would publish their books. So not everybody wants to say, yeah, we were rejected 144 times. Like that's, you know, that's not great. There's another gal I follow who just had a social media post saying that, yeah, she had burnt herself out recently. She just had put too much on her plate. She runs a very successful online business, but then she had just launched her first book as well. And with the book tour and everything, she had burned herself out. And so she was willing to, you know, to share that. And I know another gal who I follow, you know, similar thing. And so I think people who are successful, like anyone who's successful has failed. And so we've all been taught that, like, failure is a bad thing, but it's to reframe it and go, that's just a normal thing. if you're going to set a goal that's beyond where you are now, yeah, things might all fall into place and you might achieve it quite easily. Or there there'll be some stumbling blocks along the way. And so I think that successful people will acknowledge that failure is actually a part of success and they will have tools and techniques and resources in place to help them through. And, and, and, like I know this has certainly happened to me, tools that I was using that used to help me, I've reached points where it's just like, oh, that's just not cutting it anymore. And usually when I reach that point, then a new technique or a new tool or a new book or someone I wasn't aware of before, I'll find a podcast and it'll be like, oh, that's the message that I need now. And so yeah, there's a constant evolution with that. And I think too with successful people, they have a level of awareness. and going like, is this my goal or is this someone else's goal? Like, is this my goal or is this my dad's goal for me or my mom's goal for me? Or something, you know, pressure that I've put on myself because I think that that's what society wants me to do. So I think truly successful people have a level of awareness that. Yeah, that the goals are their own. And there's a certain amount of discernment that goes through with that. And successful people also will revisit their goals and renegotiate their goals. I know I've had to do that many times. I have another book that I'm working on that I really thought that I would have done three years ago and I'm still working on it. I have the content, but I'm having to compile it and put it all together. So. Yeah, sometimes life happens or, you know, like our energy levels change, you know, for whatever reasons. And so it's okay to stop and go, you know what, I had set this timeline for my to achieve the specific goal. But you know what, that's just not going to going to work out. So I'm going to renegotiate that. And I think maybe looking to achieve that goal six months down the road is going to be more realistic for me and take some pressure off so that I can I can do it that way. So I know Jack talks about this. He has a transformational leadership group. And he had told a story about it in the past where everybody got really gung-ho on setting all these really high goals and achieving the goals. And he said a lot of people did, because it was goals that they'd set for a year. He said, but a lot of people kind of burnt themselves out. achieving these goals. So, lessons learned along the way and it's always good to learn lessons from other people as well who have made those mistakes. So, success is not easy. It can be quite messy sometimes. It's all about learning and personal development. And one thing that I've learned along the way for myself and I share this with my coaching clients and with my students and with people is that there's always gonna be a challenge. Like I remember when I was in my late 30s, I thought, oh, when I turn 40, I'm gonna have it all figured out because I've got all these great tools at my disposal. And then of course you get into your 40s and yeah, you may have more confidence, more experience in some areas, but there's always gonna be new challenges. So the analogy I use is that like, if you've mastered say grade, I'm from Canada, so we call it grade five or in the States fifth grade, if you've mastered fifth grade math, there's no point in repeating that over and over again, you're gonna move on to... You know, grade six math. So it's the same in our lives too. Like once you've learned certain lessons, you know, there's gonna be new challenges as we go along. And I think like that's just part of being, you know, a human being. And certainly if you're committed to personal and professional development, yeah, there's always gonna be challenges along the way.

Sue Dhillon:
Oh, I love that. So many amazing insights there. And I love, absolutely love this idea of renegotiating our goals. I love that.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Yeah, that was certainly a game changer for me. It definitely took the pressure off and it's just so nice to give ourselves permission to go, you know what? I have too many things on my plate right now, personally or professionally or things happen. And it's like, you know what? I know that I've got five goals that I wanna achieve, but I'm just gonna focus on maybe one or two right now. And I'm just gonna give my permission to do that. or even when I was doing the online training to be a success trainer, like doing the training with Jack, I had set a goal for myself to be done like June 30th of that year. And as the time was approaching, it was like, you know what? I'm gonna need another four weeks. So I just renegotiated that goal with myself and gave myself an additional four weeks and achieved it. So instead of beating myself up, which would have been normal for me to do in the past, it was like, oh no. this is a tool that I've just learned, I can actually renegotiate this. And so I did, and it was great.

Sue Dhillon:
Oh, I love that. And then that overwhelming feeling of accomplishment, because so many times we start things, they just kind of fall by the wayside, right? But this idea that, hey, you can renegotiate it and make it a little easier on yourself and then have this amazing feeling of, okay, I did it, I finished it.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Yes, yeah. And you know, we live in a society, especially with social media, where it's like scroll, scroll, scroll, you know, our attention is divided amongst 30 bajillion things. And our brains don't work that way. In terms of optimal brain functioning, really only focusing on one thing at a time. That's how our brains work best. It doesn't mean that we can't be, you know, doing some certain amount of multitasking, although there's research shows that we can actually we actually ended up doing is called task switching, where we just bounce back and forth. But just even giving ourselves permission to only focus on one goal at a time. And just, you know, I invite everybody to just experiment with that. Like give yourself a month to just focus on one goal. It's not that you won't be paying attention to like some other things, but just focus, put the majority of your attention on the one goal and see how that feels. Oh my gosh, it's very liberating. And this is something I have to keep pulling myself back to. All the time. I'm getting much better at it than I used to be. But that's something where I have to take a step back and go, Jen, how many goals are you focusing on right now? Okay, let's dial that back and just focus on one goal. So that can be very liberating as well.

Sue Dhillon:
love that. Now, Dr. Jenn, tell us, you know, so many people have doubts and get stuck in these spaces of just, you know, victimhood, or it's just too hard. And all of these challenges kind of, you know, coming at us and wanting more, but not knowing how to make that mindset shift. Is there some really practical advice? that you can offer people. And I know again, it takes work, you need a coach in certain things and it is an ongoing process. But just to begin to make that shift, like what would be your most practical advice to people to say, okay, I'm gonna just make a simple little mindset shift to start thinking more positively or whatever it is.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Okay, that's a great question, Sue. All your questions have been awesome today. But I think what might, I mean, there's a lot of different approaches to this, but what's just popping into my mind now would be to just take us for the, some to take a step back and look at repeated patterns in their life, where, you know, where are they in their life right now, you know, personally, professionally, and then look at repeated patterns. that have been recurring over months, years, decades even. And then that would give you a good place to kind of start because you can do all the, and don't get me wrong, affirmations can be very powerful. They can, especially if you're focusing on gratitude, that can really help shift your energy and shift your thoughts. But you're not gonna be able to affirm your way out of deeply ingrained. repetitive, like negative repetitive behavior patterns. So, but once you acknowledge them and shine the light on them, then you can start taking action. So, you know, whether you're working, you know, as I said, with a coach or whether you're looking for, you know, a book from a certain person or looking for certain podcasts on a certain topic, you have to shine the light on it first to uncover it. And sometimes it's good to look and, you know, and just tune into the the inner critic and go, whose voice is that actually? It's like, you know what, that's my grade five teacher. That's totally her or him, or that's my mom, or that's my dad, or so just acknowledging, because a lot of the inner critics that we have, sometimes it's from us, but a lot of times, if you go back, you go, yeah, where did that actually come from? It's just like, oh, that's not mine, that's from... from somebody else. But then there's, again, there's wonderful tools out there like emotional freedom techniques and others where you can start clearing that out.

Sue Dhillon:
Oh, I love that. Okay, so a couple of things, Dr. Jenn, I want to say, first of all, you have been so awesome and so insightful. And I know people are going to have so many takeaways from this episode. So I just want to thank you so much for your time today.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Oh, thank you Sue, it's my pleasure.

Sue Dhillon:
And now in closing, so that was the first thing. And then in closing, if there were one message you would like to leave everyone with, your hope for everybody out there, what is that closing message?

Dr. Jen Harrison:
I think if we can just learn to love ourselves a little bit more. And that could be a big daunting thing when we've been beating ourselves up for years, for decades. But if we can just love ourselves, like even if you just said to yourself, how can I love myself 5% more today? You know, yeah, maybe I am going to drink more water today and maybe I'm not going to spend so much time on social media today. Or Maybe I'm going to love myself by going for a walk, you know, walk my dog or go walk with my kids or my family or call up a friend. So like really, if you look at most of the suffering and unhappiness in the world, it's because of lack of self-love. And I mean, every person on the planet, I don't care who you are or where you are in your journey or how successful you may be or appear to be to others, everybody struggles with that. So I think if, and so I think if... If you could just look and say like, how can I love myself just 5% more today? Um, I think that's, that's, that would be, make some really powerful changes.

Sue Dhillon:
Oh, I love

Dr. Jen Harrison:
And we

Sue Dhillon:
that.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
all work on this. I mean, I'm a work in progress, you know, we're all a work in progress.

Sue Dhillon:
Yes, I love that Dr. Jen. Dr. Jen Harrison, you have been so awesome and I just thank you so much for your time today. It was amazing.

Dr. Jen Harrison:
Thank you, Sue. I've so appreciated our conversation and the questions that you've asked. And it's been a real honor for me to be on your show today.

Sue Dhillon:
Oh, thank you so much.