Magnetic Abundance With Rebecca Whitman Blossom Your Awesome Podcast

Blossom Your Awesome Podcast Magnetic Abundance With Rebecca Whitman

Rebecca Whitman joins us. Rebecca is known as the Magnetic Abundance Mentor. She is a best-selling author of 3 books on business mindset and host of the Balance, Beautiful and Abundant Podcast.

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Transcript

Sue (00:00.851)
Hi there, today on the show, we have got Rebecca Whitman here. I am so honored and delighted to have you here. Welcome to the show. It is so great to have you here and get into the work you do. I just love this magnetic abundance mentor. Give us the backstory here on how and why you got into this line of work.

Rebecca Whitman (00:08.022)
Thanks Sue, it's great to be here.

Rebecca Whitman (00:25.354)
Yeah, it's funny, I'm shocked that I was rated Life Coach of the Year or Top 5 Entrepreneurs to Watch by USA Today because I didn't think I would be doing this kind of work. I moved to LA 22 years ago to become an actress. And although I had really small parts on really big shows like Friends, CSI, and 24.

I didn't get that big break and I supported myself by working at children's acting schools, which I really loved because I don't have kids. And while the kids were off at school, I was studying with great spiritual teachers like Michael Beckwith, Esther Hicks, Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, and I really was a student of the law of attraction. I started applying that to my job at the kids acting school. And before I knew it, I began making six figures working part time.

But the one area of my life that was very challenging was my love life. And I was in the habit of going for emotionally unavailable narcissistic men. And I married one hoping he would change and I think we all know he didn't. And three years later, I filed for divorce and as my marriage was slowly and painfully unraveling, my dad was slowly and painfully dying.

Sue (01:31.496)
Yeah.

Rebecca Whitman (01:43.206)
And I was flying back and forth from Los Angeles to Cincinnati, Ohio, where my dad was in a nursing home. And I never knew which conversation with him would be our last. And in one of our last conversations, he asked if I would write a book. And I had no idea what I was going to write about. A few months later, my dad had passed away. My marriage had been dissolved and I was sitting across the desk from my financial planner. And he said, Rebecca, I know you had a really tough year. You lost your dad in your marriage.

but I'm happy to inform you it didn't affect your finances because you're actually a self-made millionaire this year and I think you should teach women how you were so resilient. And I thought, aha, there it is, the title of my book. So I wrote a book, it's called How to Make a Six-Figure Income Working Part-Time and it's not a business plan, it's basically how I live life in seven key areas, which I call my seven pillars of abundance. And when these areas of life are in alignment,

you can be, do or have anything you want. So now I'm happily married to my soulmate and I teach women how to achieve work-life balance and be balanced, beautiful and abundant. I call myself the magnetic abundance mentor and I teach women how to magnetize their good without burning out, without exhausting themselves, without draining their energy.

Sue (03:05.491)
Oh, I love that. That's so empowering. So first question I want to ask you is, you know, these pillars and I want to get into the seven pillars with you and have you break those down for us, but where do you think that came from? For you to kind of, uh, just know those and use those in your life to create abundance. Was that always a part of who you were? Were you always ambitious? Were you always driven?

Give us that part of the story.

Rebecca Whitman (03:37.534)
I was always ambitious and always driven. I was nationally ranked in tennis. I graduated with honors from Princeton University. And I found this paradigm at a sales training that I attended in my 20s. They only had six pillars of abundance. And as I said before, my romantic life was challenging. So I added that as the seventh area. And basically in the sales training, they taught

These are the building blocks to build a successful, fulfilling life. And I look at life through these seven areas and I ask myself, what do I want to experience? How am I doing now on a scale of one to 10? And what changes are necessary if I'm not at a level 10 to get that area of life to a level 10?

Sue (04:33.411)
And now, you know, I know mindset, that's part of what you do and mindset, because there's so much great information, so many amazing resources. And we can have those resources. But if the mindset is not in alignment with that greater, like openness to abundance, it doesn't really matter. Right. So give us some insight there on beginning to shift potentially a mindset that holds you back.

Rebecca Whitman (05:03.274)
Yeah, well, there are many beliefs in all these areas of life. So let's talk about what they are. The seven pillars of abundance are spirituality, fitness, emotions, romance, mental, social, and financial. Let's just say romance. Yeah, as an example, you could have a limiting belief or an old story of

Sue (05:03.883)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rebecca Whitman (05:28.742)
I'm unlucky in love. No matter how many internet dates I go on or...

how great the person seems at the beginning, I'm just unlucky in love. So you could do all the seminars and mindset work in the world, but unless you really dig down and go to that limiting belief and really examine and get rid of it, you're still gonna have the same result. So I teach that there are the four A's of change. The first A is to be aware, okay, I have a limiting belief that I am unlucky in love.

love. The second A is acceptance. I don't judge myself and say, Oh, I've been doing all these relationships seminars, I should know better.

and beat myself up for having this limiting belief, I accept it. The third A is affirmation. I flip that limiting belief into an affirmation like I am so blessed and lucky to meet my soulmate. And then the fourth A is action. I'm now going to go on dates and put myself out there using the new affirmation.

Sue (06:42.171)
Oh, I just love this and I love how you simplify it because it seems like so often we just over complicate the simplest things in life, right?

Rebecca Whitman (06:52.658)
Yes, I love doing that. I like taking like big theories and distilling them into just simple steps because that's how I am. I like simplicity. So I feel like for my clients and for the people who listen to my social media, my podcast, I've read all the books and studied with all the coaches and done all the seminars to save you know, thousands of hours and dollars and then I just distill very simply like the practice.

ways to get results.

Sue (07:26.927)
And so where is the first place for someone to start? Is there like a first, okay, I'm gonna change my life and have a complete makeover. Where does one begin?

Rebecca Whitman (07:39.862)
Well, you can start on my website. I actually have a really fun quiz that in that moment, you'll find out if one of your seven areas of life is in or out of alignment.

And then if you realize it's out of alignment, there's many things you could do. I mean, this is the golden age. Let's say that you're out of alignment and fitness, right? You're not at a level 10. Well, there's a million YouTube videos and workouts and books you could read. You could go to a gym or if you really need some extra.

hand-holding, you could hire a coach for accountability and support. So there's just so many different ways. But the first is just to admit to yourself, you know, which areas are in alignment and which areas are out of alignment. And there's also some areas that people are crushing it in. You know, people are usually crushing it in one or two areas. Like maybe you're making tons of money, but you don't have any time for a relationship. Well, celebrate the fact that you're making tons of money. A lot of people can't do that. Or maybe you're in.

Sue (08:19.413)
Thank you.

Rebecca Whitman (08:42.776)
an amazing relationship, but you don't make any time for your girlfriends because you've fallen into what I call a manhole. So okay, I have this awesome, amazing relationship, but I've neglected my girlfriends. So let's look at what is going well as well as where you could use some bolstering and support.

Sue (09:04.951)
And you know what I find, Rebecca, so often, like you say, falling into the manhole. It's like if there's one area that's lacking, people tend to kind of over emphasize that part of their life and then they just start neglecting other areas and just start giving it all and then find themselves in that manhole and not realizing, wait, I'm neglecting all of this other stuff that I also need.

for my overall wellness and happiness.

Rebecca Whitman (09:37.502)
I think that's normal. We live in a very obsessive culture and we're all dopamine addicts. So if there's an area of your life that's giving you those dopamine hits, people usually want more and more and more and more. So it's, it is a very disciplined life to say, okay, this area is going well.

Now, where can I use some more focus and some more help to get that area? Because I really believe that you can have all seven areas of life at a level 10. Not on the same day, but in general.

Sue (10:18.855)
Mm-hmm. And now, you know, want to touch on this resilience piece, because, you know, some part of this and what you do and just how you are and the way you're able to motivate comes from that resilience. What is your insight there on? You know, because life is hard. We all have challenges, but not everyone is resilient.

So you, you know, riding these waves like you were with while your father was sick, you're going through a divorce, there's all of this stuff happening, but you were still kind of powering through that. So where did that come from in you? Was that instilled in you? Where did you manifest it?

Rebecca Whitman (11:02.89)
I think a lot of it came from playing high school and college tennis, a mental toughness. And I also think a lot of it just came from my willingness to win. I mean, I was sad, of course, it's tragic to lose a parent. It's sad to get a divorce when you have a vision of someone being your happily ever after and they're not. But...

I just didn't want to give up on myself and I knew that I could be happy regardless of any external circumstances. I know that happiness is a decision. It has nothing to do with anything on the outside. So I would encourage your listeners just to decide today I'm going to be happy. And I know it sounds oh well, you know, it's, you know, from a Western woman living in America she has everything she wants, blah, blah.

a lot of people in underdeveloped countries are happier than people in Western countries, and they don't have anything. I mean, they're sleeping on dirt floors, and they have, you know, they don't have indoor plumbing because they are in a community. They have family. They, they, they're happy just to be alive. Just being a lot to be happy about.

Sue (12:20.966)
Yeah.

Yes, and do you and I know gratitude is such a big thing for so many. Is that a part of your daily routine or practice, something you incorporate?

Rebecca Whitman (12:33.654)
Yes, I...

I'm a huge believer in gratitude. Happiness is not getting what you want, it's wanting what you have. And gratitude is the secret sauce of a happy life. And one of the gifts that I'm actually going to give your listeners is a very special journal. I met this woman when I was a teenager going to a 12-step meeting. And yes, I have struggled with addiction. And she said, Rebecca, I'd like to show you how to write in a God journal.

amazing journal prompts. I immediately bought a journal and started writing and it every single day. My life started to shift dramatically and through the years I've added a few journal prompts. Gratitude is one of them. I also

have people write a surrender list, surrender the things you can't control so you can get them out of your brain and free up some mental space and get rid of anxiety. And this abundance journal is actually going to be a gift that I give your listeners because if I could teach them one thing just over a podcast, it would be if you can just write in this journal every day for 10 days, I know that you're going to have a breakthrough.

Sue (13:48.007)
And how so is this the are you still practicing the abundance journal?

Rebecca Whitman (13:56.298)
I haven't missed a day. Whether I'm on vacation, when I'm sick, I still write in it. So yes, it is literally how I reframe my thinking from negative to positive. It's how I process and integrate my life experiences so I can learn from them. It is my number one tool in personal development.

Sue (14:21.135)
And now talk to us about self-limiting beliefs because obviously this is a key component that keeps people from success, right? So what is your guidance there? Are there some practical tips you can offer to people to overcome that?

Rebecca Whitman (14:39.774)
Yeah, we mentioned the four A's of change. So it's important to know that we have an old story that is holding us back and it's just a story. It's not, you know, we can reframe anything that happens to us. Like if somebody, you know, if I didn't get picked for the dodge ball team in the sixth grade, I could make up a story that.

you know, I'm unlovable and nobody likes me, you know, or I could say, you know what, that thing that happened to me in the sixth grade taught me to be an individual and to be self-actualized. I mean, you can reframe things. So go back to where did you make that story up about yourself? And how could you reframe that? And what would be a more empowering story that you could tell

Rebecca Whitman (15:33.56)
yourself saying your old story, change it up. You don't want to keep saying the same story over and over and over again. People will tell you the same sad story over and over and over again and they wonder why their life isn't changing. So I think Wayne Dyer said change your story, change your life. It's really true. And that is in reference to limiting beliefs.

Sue (15:59.291)
Mm hmm. That's so powerful, this idea of reframing. You know, another topic that's been coming up a lot for me in conversations is this idea of renegotiating our goals. Because so often where we kind of set ourselves up for failure by, you know, having these big, huge goals that may not be achievable.

Rebecca Whitman (16:24.594)
Yeah, I mean that is something that I'm experiencing right now because I have been wanting to do the 75 hard challenge. If your listeners don't know what it is, it's like drink a gallon of water, do two 45 minute workouts, one indoor, one outdoor, read 10 pages of self help. I think that's it. Am I missing something? Are you familiar with that challenge, the 75 hard challenge?

Sue (16:48.987)
I am a million. Yes, yes.

Rebecca Whitman (16:51.682)
So I have been dancing around it because I'm like, oh, I launched my coaching business, I launched a health and wellness business, I'm in a new marriage, now I have a new puppy. I'm like, I really like the idea of the challenge, but I don't know if I wanna do like two 45-minute workouts a day. So I just modified it a little bit. Instead of the second workout, I'm just doing 5,000 steps.

So just that and I'm doing it with a bunch of friends and we're calling it the 75 hard ish challenge. So that means in your regular 75 hard challenge if you miss one day you have to start over at day zero and work your way back up to 75 and

So many people haven't finished and they use it to beat themselves up and they feel like a failure. But we're doing the 75 hard ish challenge. So we don't have to start over at day zero and we're practicing self love. And we're practicing not beating ourselves up and striving for imperfection. I like to say I strive for imperfection. I'm not a mistake if I make a mistake.

And because I don't have this perfectionistic task master attitude about this challenge so far, today I'm on day 14 and I'm doing it in excellence and it doesn't feel like a burden, it's like exciting to me. So to learn from that story, like where are you doing 75 hard on your life, which could be 75 hard-ish, it's still important to take action toward your goals and dreams, but not

diminishes yourself or beats yourself up.

Sue (18:33.663)
I love that and you just said something. Oh God, it just slipped my mind, but it was powerful. And I love this idea of renegotiating something, not having the start over and, you know, setting yourself up for success versus failure, right? Because sometimes we're just, it can be overwhelming when we're striving too high. So now I wanna talk to you, talk to us about relationships, women and.

Rebecca Whitman (18:51.458)
Yeah.

Sue (19:02.467)
relationships and how difficult it can be when you're struggling to find that perfect person or like you say that negative self-talk or those self-limiting beliefs, I'm just unlucky in love. I have so many girlfriends who say that. They literally will say that and believe that.

Rebecca Whitman (19:21.034)
Yeah. I mean, there's a selling out, right? I'm bad at love. It is tough out there. I'm not going to lie. I have done a lot of dating in my 30s and a lot of dating in my 40s. I got married twice, one at age 41 and one at age 50. So, um,

I know what it's like to go on dates and I think it's a real hangout culture and it's a casual sex culture. So for the women who are looking for a long term committed partner, they have to go through a lot more dates. They have to go through a lot more people to find their person. So I actually have a class called magnetize your soulmate and it's a really successful class.

They're soulmate at every age and it really, you know, it has to do with learning how to be in your feminine energy. And some of the other things that we've been talking about magnetizing your person rather than going out and chasing your person. Because if you think about chasing, you're actually pushing the energy away. It's like try to, try to chase a butterfly or try to chase a mouse. They're going to run away. But if you, you know, are still, then you.

be able to catch a mouse with the mousetrap or you might be able to you know catch the butterfly. So it's about teaching women how to be more in their feminine because feminism, I'm a feminist, it's a socio-economic movement but it still didn't change the biology of men and I used to chase men and be in my masculine energy and it just doesn't work.

Sue (21:09.335)
And now I know you had mentioned Esther Hicks. Can you clarify something for us? Because I think so often people get this wrong. Like you say, this idea of energy. And you know, a lot of times it's like we're trying too hard, right? You're trying too hard rather than just allowing it to happen.

Rebecca Whitman (21:29.99)
Mm-hmm. What did you want me to clarify?

Sue (21:33.655)
Yeah, it's kind of like that law of attraction type of deal where I think people get it backwards.

Rebecca Whitman (21:41.659)
Mm-hmm

Sue (21:43.323)
Yeah, what are your beliefs on that? Like in terms of manifesting, what is that kind of ideal, optimal mindset? What are the thoughts we should be thinking?

Rebecca Whitman (21:56.342)
Well, it's good to know what you want, but if you want it so badly and you haven't had results, sometimes we have a lower vibration around it, and it's better just to go general or not even think about it at all.

Sue (21:56.939)
Thank you.

Rebecca Whitman (22:12.69)
So for example, when I met Ben and this used to Ben is my husband, it used to drive me crazy when people like, well, love is what happens when you're not looking for it. I'm like, oh my god, how can you not look for love? Like, it's what makes life so sweet. But after my divorce, I went on so many bad internet dates. I was like, I'm so sick of dating of talking about men of just anything to do with them.

Rebecca Whitman (22:43.204)
I'm not going to go on any dates. I'm not going to even have a conversation with a man for more than two minutes and just give my mind a break because my whole life I've been obsessing about romantic love. And six weeks into my dating detox, I was at a party thrown by the owner of my gym and I invited everyone at the party to my book launch party the following weekend. Well, the only one from the gym party that showed up to my book launch was Ben and he

book, and he asked me to sign it over dinner. And I was like, Wait, I'm supposed to be on a 90 day dating detox. I'm only six weeks in. And how did that work? It's because I had such a negative self conversation about men that I had to just totally give it up and just like, I'm not even going to focus on it for 90 days. And then I got out of my own way. And the law of attraction could work. So I would tell the people who are listening

know what you want to manifest and if it excites you and if it thrills you keep focusing on it. But if you start to get that, oh god, it's never gonna happen for me feeling it's just too hard. It's too exhausting. Then just don't even think about it for a while. Focus on some other things that do get you excited and light you up because that's the other thing about the seven pillars. If there's one area that's working well,

If you focus on that, sometimes it'll lift the others up. Like sometimes if you're having a really great month at work financially, you're more energetic and you want to work out, you know. Sometimes if you just went to a great party, then you have more energy to do your, you know, spiritual prayer meditation. I don't know, they're all kind of like spokes of the same bicycle wheel. So focus on what is lighting you up.

Sue (24:37.715)
Oh, I love that. That's such great guidance. And now one of your things is helping people find their superpower. And I just love that because I so believe that everyone has. A superpower or superpowers and things that they're aspects of them that they're not tapping into. So what is your advice there? How how do we start?

Rebecca Whitman (25:02.754)
Some questions to ask yourself are, what do you love to do? What do people come to you for as far as advice? Is it love life? Is it car mechanics? Is it clothes? What were you good at as a little kid? Just naturally. What were you just really, were you good at baking or a sport? And then.

What do you want to be known for when you're gone from this planet? Like, what do you want people to say about you? These are all clues. Another is, you know, what makes you mad? You know, maybe you are really passionate about serving the underprivileged in a certain community or helping animals. Like, what is it that you have passion or fire around? These are all great questions to ask yourself when it comes to your superpower.

Sue (25:57.447)
And now based on this, I believe and I believe this as well that everyone has a gift or a talent or something like we really have a purpose and a calling, right?

Rebecca Whitman (26:10.006)
I really believe that and if you're not sure, I actually have a free guide on my website, Find Your Meaningful and Magnetic Purpose and some of these questions and many others are there to help kind of guide you toward what your purpose and...

I really like what Abraham Hicks said, like you don't have to go looking for your purpose, your purpose will find you. That's kind of what happened to me with life coaching because I didn't really think growing up I was gonna be a life coach, but it just, I wrote the book and then one thing led to another and now I'm a life coach. So sometimes your purpose finds you and it's about just staying open-minded and open-hearted.

Sue (26:52.995)
And now speaking of purpose, I always love talking to people who find their purpose and do an exceptional job at it, right? So here you are, the successful coach and mentor. What is it like for you on a personal level? Like how fulfilling is it to help people in such an empowering way?

Rebecca Whitman (27:19.326)
It's so fulfilling. I just had my first group session of this training called elegant warrior training, and it's about empowering women to just step into their power in all seven areas and after class one, oh my God, I was on fire. Like I was walking my dog around the neighborhood and I felt like I was floating. I just.

It just really lights me up to give women their dreams back and to build them up when so many situations in their life have brought them down and to let them know.

It's not too late, you didn't miss the boat, you didn't age out, you can begin again, you can flip the script, start a new chapter, start a new life, get a new career, get a new relationship, you can move. Like empowerment is all about choices and I love empowering women and showing them there are so many choices, you are not stuck.

Sue (28:22.559)
Mm-hmm. And what is some practical advice you have to that woman who feels stuck or man, you know, people just, I feel like once they get stuck, it's so hard to pull yourself out of that. You need some kind of guidance. What would your practical advice to that person be?

Rebecca Whitman (28:42.138)
Ask yourself what do you want? How do you want to feel? What changes are necessary to get what you want?

So if you're stuck in a dead end relationship or dead end job, ask yourself, what kind of experience do I want in a relationship? What kind of experience do I want in my ideal career? And how do I want to feel? You know, I want to feel in love. I want to feel seen. I want to feel playful and flirty and sensual. And I want to

feel, you know, successful in my job or whatever it is. And then what changes do you need? Because you know, I mean, I can coach you guys and I'm, you know, I have a couple spots left in my calendar for a breakthrough call, you know, which is going to be in the link that Sue shares with you a complimentary breakthrough call to help you get unstuck. I make myself available just for three appointments a week for that for just complimentary calls. But I think you know, like, you know what

get unstuck. People know you know what you want. So what do you need to do to get unstuck? And how do you want to feel? Because people need to start with their feeling not their doing. It's not the doing it's how do I want to feel and then once you know that, then the doing will come later. People think, okay, I'll do all this action like I'll work 60 to 80 hours a week on me. I'll make a million dollars and then I'll feel happy but it's usually very unhappy.

when they do that, decide I'm going to be happy and then I'm going to do the things that make me happy and then success will come the other way. So people have it in reverse. It starts with the feeling.

Sue (30:30.683)
I love that. I think that's so great. And I'm hearing a lot of this, but that is such powerful guidance. And you're so right. We so often have it backwards. People are in that, gotta do this, gotta do that, gotta do this, but overlooking the whole point of it. It's like the journey, not the destination, right? Gotta be happy on your way there too.

Rebecca Whitman (30:56.766)
Yes, a happy journey leads to a happy destination. And why do you want the new car, the new relationship, the six or seven figure job, the vacation, so that you'll be happy? And like I said, happiness is a decision. It's not an acquisition.

Sue (31:18.539)
That is so powerful. Now tell us what is, so you already have a few books out. You're working with people, you're doing all sorts of things, you have these different programs. I'm gonna have links to that. What is upcoming for you this year in 2024? What else are you working on? Is there another book we can expect? What's going on?

Rebecca Whitman (31:38.634)
Yeah, I have a couple of retreats coming up and they're going to be teaching women how to have alignment and a level 10 in all these areas. And one of them is going to be in Playa del Carmen, Mexico in the fall.

Sue (31:39.806)
Whoa!

Rebecca Whitman (31:55.482)
And the other one is going to be in the United States. The location is still to be determined in April. So they're going to be called from burned out to blazing hot. And they're going to be amazing retreats. I also have group coaching programs available. I'm going to be launching a new podcast called Everything But The Guy. And it's for very successful women who have it all. They have the job, the lifestyle, the cars, the vacation, the homes, the friends.

they just don't have the guy. So I'll be interviewing women on that show and giving some great relationship advice. So those are some of the exciting things that I have coming up this year.

Sue (32:38.859)
Oh, I love that. Everything but the guy. What a great name. I love that. Now, a couple of things. First and foremost, Rebecca, you've been so awesome and you've had so many great insights and I think people are gonna have so many awesome takeaways from all of what you've shared here with us. And I just thank you so much. I love you.

Rebecca Whitman (32:59.542)
You're so welcome. It's so great to be here. I love to stay in touch with your listener. So Sue is going to be sharing my link tree. That's where you can pick up the abundance journal and book a breakthrough call with me. And then I'm also, you can find me on Instagram at Rebecca E Whitman and LinkedIn and Facebook as well under Rebecca Whitman. So I am looking forward to keeping in touch with everyone.

Sue (33:27.991)
Oh, I love that. And now in closing, I have to ask you've already said so many amazing things. But if there was just one message, your hope for everybody, what is that closing message you'd like to leave us with?

Rebecca Whitman (33:40.618)
It would be to stop taking your life so darn seriously because none of us are getting out alive and to find the joy and the playfulness in each day.

Sue (33:58.887)
Oh, I love that so much. What a beautiful closing message. Rebecca, you've been so awesome. Thank you so much.

Rebecca Whitman (34:07.235)
Thank you for having me. It's been a great conversation.

Sue (34:11.559)
Thank you.